The Expectations of Others

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” John 1:12

A girl, age 7, sat upon the living room couch with arms folded and tears in her eyes. Her father, temporarily preoccupied with just-home responsibilities, barely noticed his little princess as he deposited his keys and wallet in the designated tray. As he shuffled through the junk mail he asked, “How was your day?” No response from the girl.

The father finally realized that something was wrong. He walked over to his little girl, wrapped his arm around her, and asked what happened at school to make her cry. “Chad told me that he hates my freckles and that my glasses make me look weird.” The man picked up his daughter and held her close. “You want to know what I think?” said the wise father as he stared into the child’s eyes. “I think you’re beautiful. Your freckles remind me of your mother, and your glasses are so cool and make you look super smart.”

The Curse of the People Pleaser

Hello, my name is Josh, and I’m a People Pleaser. This is something that I have struggled with for many years. I want people to like me, and therefore I will do almost anything to make this happen. If people don’t like my hair, I’ll change it. If people don’t like my personality, I will tone it down or ramp it up depending on the whim of the people around me. If I find out that someone may not like me (impossible to imagine, right?), I will spend great amounts of time, energy, and money to change their perception of me. So I overload my schedule, bust my budget, and eliminate my priorities to accomplish the impossible. My mission: to please all people, in all places, all of the time.

Finding Your Identity in Christ

What really matters is what my heavenly father thinks of me. The Apostle John says that I am a child of God because I simply believed on Jesus for my salvation. Like the little girl who is hurt by the unkind words of another but consoled by the love of her father, I must care more about what my Heavenly Father thinks of me than I do of the frail opinions of other men.

Are you a people pleaser? How do you manage the expectations of others? What Bible verse has helped you most in this area?