Single Moms and Single Dads are my new Heroes! Really!!! I look around our congregation and I see these dear women and men who are doing it all by themselves! They get the kids out the door to school, go to work everyday, many times to an underpaid & unappreciated position, pick up the kids from school, do the homework and then put them down for the night… ALONE! Phew! I’m tired just thinking about it. For those of you who are single parents I have no suggestions (other than keep walking with Jesus) only admiration.
However, I have recently been living the single parent life. (Heather has traveled back to Alabama several times due to her mother’s illness.) And I can tell you that it is not easy but there are several tips that I have learned that will help you to survive.
1. Get Close to Jesus
In Hebrews 13:5 we are told that Jesus would never leave or forsake us. This is good news when you’re feeling like it’s all on you. It’s not all on you, you have a guide and comforter we call the Holy Spirit. Take time, whenever possible, to spend time with Jesus. Read your Bible, pray and worship God through song. When you do this you will have the strength necessary for the coming war.
2. Ask for Help
The great thing about the local church is that we are a family. And families are to care for one another. Don’t be too prideful to ask others for help if you need it. One person can’t do it all and neither can you. I’m so thankful for the many folks who have been there for us while Heather has been away.
3. Enjoy Every Moment You Can
I did not say enjoy even moment because that will be impossible. However, you must remember that there is going to be a day when those little ones are not so little and that they are not merely across the hall ready for you to tuck them in at night. Enjoy the little moments that only parents can enjoy.
4. Keep Discipline in Tact
One of the temptations of being without mommy is to allow “no no’s” to go without punishment. The key to discipline is being consistence. Therefore, if something is punishable when mommy or daddy is around then that same thing is punishable when they are not around.
5. Make it Special
Do some things with the children that you would not normally do when the other parent may be there. For example, have dessert for dinner! Let them stay up “all night.” My children never make it past midnight. We played Hide-n-go-seek in the dark this last time. We turned off all of our lights in the house, the children counted to 10 and hid from dad. We laughed and tickled and giggled until dad was exhausted.
Are you a single parent that has some advice for the rest of us? Comment Below:
Have you ever been with the kids without your spouse? Have other suggestions? Comment Below:
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Jamee
October 23, 2012 at 11:17 amPastor I enjoyed this one! Having done the single parent life and the pseudo single parent while Stacy deployed/TDY’s and work. I think a big thing to remember for those people at home is to stop complaining to the spouse that is gone how horrible your day was and how bad the kids were. Sometimes its first reaction to vent on your spouse. Stacy and I figured out after the first deployment that this didn’t work. The parent that is away just misses the kids and their spouse it only makes them feel worse when all they hear is the bad. Try to keep everything positive or “light”. One day when I was in Kuwait and Stacy had the kids the venting turned to a disagreement and all I could say was at least you get to see them and hold them.
Joshua Teis
October 23, 2012 at 2:24 pmJamee, That is such a great point!
Kenneth De Jesus
October 23, 2012 at 11:02 pmIt took me a few years to adapted to being home. Having AJ and a SHBC changed everything. So many friends to ask for help and advice, so many mentors to seek counsel. The first thing Jeanette and i discussed is making sure we raise our child with love and patience. Our parents were not perfect, it was hard growing up, but we appreciate the best with what they had. We are so thankful for AJ and thankful that we are able to sit and talk as adults as to how to raise our son. I have plenty of daddy time with my son and do so many things…library, park, getting ice cream, having lunch or breakfast together, and so many other things….As soon as he goes to bed, my wife and i cant wait for him to wake up and start all over again. There are times he sneeks into bed and i could feel his little hands or feet.. I love being a parent….
Joshua Teis
October 24, 2012 at 9:57 amKen,
Being a stay-at-home dad can be a difficult thing! But you are doing an incredible job! keep it up. AJ is doing so well